I was never good enough.

My dress was too short, my hair too colorful, my voice too loud, my opinions too controversial, my dreams too big.
So I left that group of people.

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Not enough.

Then my dress was too long, my hair too dull, my voice too soft, my ideas too inside the box and my dreams not impressive at all.
They didn’t like me either.. So I left.

I had to be pitch perfect, there was no room for error, no time for games, no time to play… It was perfection or nothing.
This group consisted of the elite few…I clearly wasn’t welcome.

After going round and round, through and through….I realized I never belonged anywhere… Society had already stumped its seal of rejection on me.
For once in my life.. I didn’t belong.

I locked myself in my room and became my own cheerleader and my own tag team, I was my own best friend and my own audience and my own star.
But after a year of this…. I realized I didn’t even belong to me.

I lay in my room after a performance my conscious rated as “flawless”
I had had enough….enough of people, enough of them and enough of me.
There had to be more….this couldn’t be it?

Then I recalled a story my grandma told me about a being that delighted in me…”you were created for Him, for His pleasure..life will only make sense when you live for Him”, she would repeat.
So I called out to the being, “If you’re real Lord..help me!”

He was real, He was real…He came and not only helped me but also saved me. He told me things I’d never heard before.
I held on to His hand and wouldn’t let go…He was what I’d been searching for.

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Not enough.

He said He loved my ideas, they were there because He had inspired them. He said He loved my voice. He didn’t mind my imperfections and weaknesses because then His grace would be made perfect.

He said I am fearfully and wonderfully made. He told me to only trust Him and no one else. He told me He loved me in my strength and equally in my weaknesses.
He said His grace would change that.

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You are enough.

As for my hair, He said He loved the color red. Its why there are red heads….”don’t you think I love them too?”  He asked smiling.
He loved my ideas and He and I would be a tag team.

I accepted that He come into my heart and He made His dwelling within me. He is my guide and my shield. My strength and my strong tower. My light and The Truth. He’s perfect love has driven away my fears.

So now I hear the people who said my dreams were too big, I hear those who despised me based on the length of my dress, I hear those who frowned on my imperfections. They are calling me back.

Do you think I’d return?

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All is well.

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