Grace

Ashamed, broken, bruised and defiled,
I was headed for destruction with no way out,
Deep down I hated this, I knew it wasn’t right,
But I was trapped, I had been chained way too long to even fight,

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Pain

It was normal, it was me, this was reality,
I was covered in so much filth, so far from beauty,
At first I would cry but not anymore,
I remember feeling hurt, but that was before,

Trading my body and soul for cheap change,
Sex for money-  a lousy exchange,
I sought after refuge but found none,
I had so many friends but yet so alone,

Yuck!! Who could stand the sight of me?

They were all the same-  the teacher, the doctor, the lawyer, the engineer and even the pastor,
Evil and cruel men and my body was all they were after!!
All men were bad, this wasn’t a biased statement but my fact!
I knew all their ways and could see beyond their good act,

I hated them all!!

My dad who raped me!
My cousin who molested me!
My boyfriend who beat me!
My uncles who defiled me!

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Pain

And after my pastor impregnated me… That was the final blow into my downward spiral,
I despised my boss who sold me to online sites and gained his income when I went viral,
They all looked at me and only saw their object of pleasure,
I was not human, not beautiful, not a soul but simply a toy for their leisure,

Yuck!! Who could stand the sight of me?

So I gave up on fighting and let them do as they pleased,
Eventually my pride reduced while my shame increased,
I began to enjoy and love the way they treated me,
I looked forward to the times they abused me,

It felt good, it felt right, I was addicted to the pain,
It was my only counsel to my life of vain,
It meant I was human , intended and not mere coincidence,
The pain was my identity and evidence to my existence,

Yuck!! Who could stand the sight of me?

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“I am always with you, ” I heard Him whisper,
The five words that touched this stripper,
It was 4:30 in the morning on a Friday,
It was beautiful, such a blessed day,

After nearly dying from the beatings of an abusive client,
The voices in my head were hushed and so was that evil giant,
Ashamed, broken, bruised and defiled,
I met the ONE man who looked at me and smiled,
With those five words He changed my life,
They pierced my heart like a knife,

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Pain

Amazing grace how sweet the sound,
I was lost but now I’m found,
He saved a wretch like me,
Was blind but now I see,
Grace-  undeserved, unmerited, unearned favor,
Paid for by the blood that washes forever,
LOVE visited and stayed at my home,
LOVE came and calmed my storm,

Sinner for Son..a divine exchange.

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I love the Lord! Im addicted!

For more heartfelt poetry check this out God loves the gay, the muslim and the atheist. I’m christian and yes I love gay people too.

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